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Showing posts from August, 2014

past reminders

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What happened to moving forward?
Why is my past behaviour resurfacing?
The words, the actions, the tones.
I have turned back into what i once loathed.
When I was 17.

The constant poppin' up.
(even though it wasn't everyday, every hour, but once a week)
The endless one-sided conversation.
So full of insecurities.
Too much thinking.
Read too much.

STOP
I need to get over it.
I guess it's a good thing that the new semester has started.
To keep my mind occupied elsewhere.

I can't believe I got hoodwinked.
After how many times I've known to kept them at length.
I became careless.
Forgot how to read all those signs.
Even the hidden ones.

Why'd you have to lay out your cards?
Knowing that you're not gonna back up your words?
Because you knew it'd take a hit at my wall.
And I stupidly gave them all.
As usual.

I need to find more side projects to do.
I have just completed one for my aunts.
I need more.
Need distraction from all these mindless, useless, pointless fan…

just enjoy a cuppa'

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// Watch the falling droplets of rain  the flickering of light in vain thoughts travel to yonder that often leads me in wonder
Keep them coming, she says I'll be waiting for days no matter what or how never waver from the now
Remember me, I was your past I may not have last But we had our moments This, I never fathom
Remember me, I saw you then I must have been ten But we shared our stories This, I never worry
Listen to the faint sounds of jingling in the distance sipping a hot cuppa' tea with company in presence while the mind wanders in circles the companion is too much of a fickle
I stop now as the rain has parted elsewhere as this illuminating hour kept me in fair to continue my idling ways //
-triggered emotionless symptoms-

Dancing bears in my kaleidoscope

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One after another.
it's as though as if I'm in a trance. She says I'm destroying myself. but all I ever do is staying up late. I don't get drunk. I don't have sex. I don't go home with strangers. Heck, I don't even make out with strangers. I just dance and drink a little, not excessively. Friends, Peers, Pressure? Nah, it's all voluntary.
What do I do in the day?
Read. Music. Design. Research. Dawdle. Snooze.
Now? I'm back to living the old lifestyle of books and friends. Famiglia downtime.  Oh, new friends too. //
Being an only child - spoilt
Can't take criticisms - sensitive, wanna beat 'em up
He communicates through music, like I do
We are worlds apart in nature
But we were there that night, baring souls and faces
// He told me he doesn't want more than just one night. I told him I want more than one night. Don't be anymore of a stranger than he was, I said. Why be more mysterious? I was told that I was before. Then I changed my …