Showing posts from January, 2012

wish you were here, heartless

this is probably my worst experience ever..being hit by another on coming vehicle. i can't shake off the feeling.. it's too traumatic.. there's so many what ifs' even though none happened.. but i still can't imagine if it did.. they keep telling it's not my fault..i'm not in the wrong..'s too much to take in..and having been working on the it's-my-fault mode all the time.. i'm still too shocked.. working through shock adrenaline.. want to talk to someone so badly..there's no one... going quietly insane..


walking on pebbles..

wash my memories on the white walltake me back to where i came from it wasn't mine to take the fall but i couldn't resist to enter the room
i wish, i wish.. "hearts and flowers?" he said. yes. but it still wasn't mine to take sometimes it's too soon.. then it's too late. when?
i took the ride to paradise but i got lost in the middle instead to go forth or to retreat..?
i love you today. i miss you tomorrow. i hate you later. but in the end, which is which? this never ending journey.....
i'd trade everyday for feeling just like today. clouds were cleared.. and it was peaceful.


chacun l'amour

isn't it vexing? from Delibes' Lakmé to Pauline's Chacun..maybe it's not the correct word..but to think of it that way. I'd rather it was Pauline's's what it means..
Everyone wants love and always wants to find it You, you do not worry, for it is already there Everyone sees the sky, the moon, the sun You, you reveal yourself to your lucky star
Everyone challenges themselves, playing with their life You, you take your time at your own pace Everyone is looking for an angel, You, you erase them without leaving a trace
And that is why I am yours, If you're the other, I am the one Everyone needs their soul mate.
Someone told me once, loneliness is a beauty of its own sometimes.. but no one would want to live and die alone in bitterness and scorn. There are those who live their whole life in scorn and depression and end up alone.. but me, like most people, would search for the right one to end up with for the rest of my life..
This song has been in my h…


how did she manage it? it was not easy to let go..and it wasn't easy letting anyone in either.. the price to was never her intention to stray near the impossible.. always thinking about the end, trying to change someone is too challenging till she couldn't take it anymore.. but she didn't have anyone to go was probably her pride that made her not turn to anyone..she didn't know what to do.. it was a pay or play..which resulted her in leaving in the end. to want something and not being able to get it from one party..this one sidedness ends up too sufferable to continue.. communication is so vital..but how can she speak face to face when he intimidates her so easily? by putting everything in words in e-mail seemed less intimidated.. it hasn't ocurred to me that the fact that between two people who are trying so hard to salvage what they can in a relationship to make things work between them can end up in variuos outcomes. one. tolerance and…

what i want is what i got

it wasn't a glimpse. it was a peep. then it was desire. to have and to hold and to own. curious, curious. how the end would be? no it's not a question. it's a statement.
circles and circles swirling overhead. the endless wonder and wander.. but as of now, it's a good sign. for the green light to be allowed came on after days of pondering in agony. and now, i have a massive headache.
have i mention lately that i've made a new friend too? it's rather refreshing and enlightening. haven't seen or heard but definitely a trouper. one that i've yet to have met. this is something different.
mam's pleased? since my social life hasn't exactly been improving lately after new year. right.. this post is kinda depressing today.. too little to poop in.. apart from saying the obvious everytime.. so i'll just say it again.. i'm eagerly anticipating everyone's comeback.. Jacques, Jean, Rutherford, Mei, Tine, Tae etc etc... not to mention a getaway..~~
-cheers-...blast me hea…

new year 2012

took a hitchfound a dish trap a fish caught a leech drop a pig dug a leg dance a pony bumped a loony was a lad turned a bat in the end it's all a band!
.........what's that?
-fat lou-


hmmm..odd.. really.....odd.. papou's starting to act more like a papa.. took me to see the doc..first time ever.. and paid for the medicine too... O.O.. it's really odd..and rather endearing.... maybe he's coming of old age??.. papou's never soft or cajoling when i'm sick.. -.- odd.. really really.. odd..
-swimming in circles-