Showing posts from September, 2011

photographs and memories

it's like a film playing on the blank walls,just when i close my eyes and fall i had just about it, what i never ate it's eating at me instead, made me seeing red all the time just like wine could have fooled me but things got heavy and i just can't find the light anymore i thought there was no law when it comes to the word friends and love i guess there's just no sub for anything. not you. not me. it's gone.
that's why they're memories. i see you all the time. i don't want to lose you, but i don't want to think of you, either. you can't leave and i can't escape. we're together. until a day comes when they can be together without a hitch.
---a song i heard and was inspired in a different way put into these words above. don't misjudge. .___.
-just a human-

can't. won't. NO.

i'm actually scared.i don't wanna open. it's too raw. if i do, i'm gonna have to start all over again. please don't do it again. i dunno if i can ever go back as we were. it's too much. so, please don't. don't ask. ever.



once. twice. thrice. noooo.. not the fourth!
yep. i did it again. aye. it's unacceptable. but, i did.
where to learn? i dunno. it's DOGS, for gawd's sake! i can't. believe. it! absolutely mayhem, i know.
but hey, it's alright. nothing's ruined. cheers on that.
right, and on that note. Tiki's back for a long weekend. i've been booked, apparently. i didn't know i could be booked. interesting.
not to say that i've any interesting occasion on this weekend. 'cept for Aunt Soph's back for a week, since Unc Nick's gone back to the Kingdom to spend time with his family there. and that Weasel's no longer calling whenever he's back since that little cosy outing. Rong's off to the Kingdom tomorrow. pity, we didn't get to have a last meet-up.
i do intend to go there one day. just not so soon. oh, i went to Porpy's shack today. Porpy's mom is cute. but she does have a mean streak. it's in her character. ;) there's also the planning to Penan…


for what?never too late. never too early. just the perfect timing. for everything.
till one day, it all just fell apart. the everyday life. is no longer there. how to explain? there's just no words to put it. 'cept that, there is only one to blame.
the endless flow of thoughts and words which in the end murdered everything that was perfect. not that it was. but how to say it? i just don't know. it could be now. today. tomorrow. still, i think it's never ending.
perfect way to put it is that there's no lunacy in this. just all thoughts. which could really really kill. no, not like that. the mood. it is.
i do absolutely insist that it's not a light-hearted matter. it's absolutely abominable!
yeah, that's just it. balderdash!
ooooh, i must say i haven't had this much fun in "posts" to come!
-whadda bluddy hell ar' ye sayin' 'ere-

meet cute :)

it's so nice and fantastic with all the fireworks at work.. the beauty of the first time when two and two are in sync. just the perrfect meet cute!..
yeah, to experience it will be heavenly.. dream dream dream. it's just perfect.
i see it. i touch it. i feel it. it's all around me. the air. the wind. the smiles everywhere. just the two of us. grinning from ear to ear. it's just the perfect everything.

-love boat-


listen.just listen. stop and listen. listen to the sound of words. listen. stop. think.
don't do this any more. the chance came and gone. can't hold up any more. it's getting worse. the trust is gone. just listen. please.
countless times and forgiveness. deaf to it all. rewind. repeat. and again.

sap, sap, SAPPY..

wanna see the starswanna hear 'em laughs but can't find the halves of a heart. wanna look all nice wanna sing 'em songs wanna wish for hope but still can't cry for joy.
i see. i see. i see all of 'em walking by. i see. i see. they're all looking for something to lie. it's all so fine and nice. when everything's just a lie. a lie. and all of them will disappear.
----is this a song? you could say that. it's something that i've just concocted thru a convo with a friend..
-breakeven mood-

it's all about the talking

have you ever seen yourself in the mirror and seen yourself through others' eyes?honestly? i may be the one talking alot, so ya'll probably think i have no problems with communicating.. well, wrong. i'm actually starting to doubt myself. seeing that i just realised i've some kind of issue with talking. i dunno what to say. heh, the big mouth? yeah. the biiiig mouth. oh yeah, not to mention that i think i'm more into Ruth and Mab's kind of crowd. i mean, Mab was mentioning about it the other day (we finally met up after gawd knows how many months), talking about sarcasm jokes and humours. hey, i'm not saying that we have a lot in common, but, honestly? i wasn't used to hers at first. but i have nothing against it then or now. just have to get use to it. 'sides, i kinda like it. i mean, i can imagine the east side crowd charming to her. hell, that's why i get misunderstood so easily, being read wrongly by that crowd. it's not easy getting understood and ge…

thorn in the mind.

is there any way to put this?what's going on? i'd' like to know to. whether it's a fault or not, something's still off. i can't seem to point it out. have i been affected by something, someone or words somehow? i guess that's a yes. it's not a statement or an argument at some point. but i think it has something to do with acceptance. has the problem ever been resolved? i'm not sure. so says the other party that it's over and done with. but the actions are different. i don't know what to think anymore. that's why i've resolved to this: avoidance. i don't know how i'm going to continue this, but.. if it's unavoidable, the hard head is still on. guess i'm a party pooper too.

blue sky~

took a dive down the road and opened more eyes in the usual spots..
you could say that i meant the roadtrip to Penang or the days that i spent with everyone around me who came back.. never really enjoyed it all.. it felt forced somehow.. i'm wondering .. will i cease to be a pessimist.. ever? nothing bad came out of it.. hence, the endless paranoia...... ....
blue skies and summer sunshine, gently made me kind, so fine that i stopped the wheel, and decided to stop and feel; whether to think it's real or not, i just did not want to end up at that fork; not again. not the rain. but the pain.. flow, blow, throw.. it doesn't matter anyway.. but i'd feel a whole lot better if i'd known the disaster you'd bring to me..
-bittersweet pain-