Showing posts from August, 2011

days go by~

say, what's your poison?nah, not that type. it's Keith Urban. gosh, can't believe i'm listening to sappy songs. X)) honestly, it's not that bad. i'm so drugged with Long Hard Summer. ~drumming fingers and tapping my left leg..
and currently hunting for the perfect getaway resort for the perfect vacation( gawd, i hope so).. 'sides that... pretty much nothing fascinating happened..'cept that maman came back from NZ with lotsaaa chocolates and cheese (my favourites) ahhh.. lovessss...
oh yeah, reading is a permanent addiction. can't get rid of it. X))
-yer lookin' good in my shirt-

not a word of truth.. quotes. maybe?

walking down the street alonewishing i was home but things went wrong and life went on.......
she said it was forever, but he said that there is always an end to things. no matter what. i believed them. stupidly. i did.
saw you walking towards me, and i left straight away. heard you calling, but i still ignored. you thought i was jealous. i thought you were assuming way too much. then it all ended.
i trusted you.. but you didn't. it wasn't suppose to be like this. yet, i was stupid enough to think you were worth it. just another illusion.
took a path down that road.. discovered that it was so much easier and nicer to follow through it. till it ended halfway. when you decided to come back and rip everything apart again.
no one was around. there was only a sound. just breathe.
i left. not a coward. but a realist.
condemn me all you want. after all, it doesn't matter. nothing matters in the end. only music.
-boxes of enigma-

igby went down again..

i saw her that day,
she was fine. all smiles and no worries.
but when i saw her later, it was as though as she's been engulfed by all the black vibes in the world..
apparently, i was there too..
she was doing alright, minding her business as usual..
until her "nemesis" (it's not right to call someone who's in your life from the beginning, but well..) decided to strike out again..
it was not a physical one, but it's almost the same..
being degraded and making her feel small at the same time made her rebel again..
until she couldn't take it anymore and told her missus..
i don't really blame her for what she said to her missus, for i felt the same, like i wanted to rip everything apart..
she broke down in front of her missus and the rest of the members in the place she calls "den"..
for it never felt like a home to her..
her missus advised her to be more cautious if she wants to confront her "nemesis" ..
for the consequences were dire.. - to be ki…

..don't you just LOOOVE teaching?

hey, you! yeah, YOU!
look here! *snap* snap*
what did i just say? REPEAT.

mmhmm.. like a deer caught in the headlights..
typical you.. mind just can't wandering all over the place, eh? *tsk tsk tsk*

students..pupils.. kids..
when it comes to things that seem boring to you..
within 5 secs.. you're gone like the wind.. don't blame you.
but u're cute when u start scratchin' ur head and have a what-the-heck-are-u-sayin-? look
and i'm PISSED when u do that.

so, don't you just LOOOOVEEEE teaching?

-yes/no, hell, i don't know-


hi~ my name's SLEEPY.
i like to swoop in anytime of the day when u least expect it..
'sides... u know u just CAAAAAAAAN'T resist me..
so u'll YAWNnnn..
then u'll start thinking of ways to either hurry up and finish ur work or SKIP it!!
who doesn't love me? ( 'sides workaholics)

---------------------SHUT UP AND JUST GO TO SLEEP!

-battery died-


it's what i'm searching for.. something to keep me in tune with everything else in life..
it's not all about work all the time.
but also everyone and everything around me.., i'm still trying to search .. the perfect balance in life.
there's some peace in it.
there's no hatred in it.
but there's always conflict.
and if there isn't, life's not balanced.
for me.

take an example like today.. patience.impatience.tolerance.intolerance.
a day trip to Kellie's Castle and Sungkai hot spring with the 13 koreans.
a jumble of emotions. trying to accommodate everyone's needs.
not to mention the language barrier.
i admit.. i'm losing my touch. or you could say, not interested anymore till i've forgotten.
the ears not working today..
i have to find some balance throughout the whole mess.
eventually i did. without blowing up, nah..there was no need for it.
just impatience. intolerance.
due to some child-like adult. one who only cares about enjoying him…

to issy with love..

have u ever met anyone who could last for weeks and weeks and years and years of unrest?
i have.
it's so inevitable.
with the things going around your head. the things needed to be done.
the problems unsolved. more conflicts mounting.
it's never-ending.
the only solution is to drop it all off.
ever lived without your phone for a week?
think think think..
to say this honestly, i'm worried that i'll go thru this phase in life..
getting wary here..

----- this is to catch up on what we've missed in all our convos, boo. that is, if u ever drop in.

i can never mess up.

i can never seize it.

i can never sing on stage.

i can never give up
i can never fail.

i can never dance.

i can never smile.
i can never fall.

i can never cry.

i can never love.

they say it as it is.

how much truth is in it for me?

just pick a scale of ten.

anyways, enough of that. you wanna know what's lately?

here goes, there's been a lot going on this week with the amount of workload and meeting with new p…

swimming in circles..

dear isth,

looking at the surface seems to be so real.. it's as though as whatever that's underneath is not important.. seems like a dream.. and yet, there's a twirl in there..somewhere.. that says, it's not what it seems.. but, how to snap out of it?
i made you up, and you seemed so real.
but, that's the beauty of it, because, you are real. (my apologies, 'tis just a jest)
there hasn't been a day gone that i have not thought of you..
dear dear isth.. :)
how's the weather there? smoking hot, eh? X))
m'day's been an interesting and hectic breather since 6am till now....

wander wanderer wander..
how is it that you can be such a wonder?
shudder shouldn't shudder..
can you be a bother?
strange stranger wager..
to lose something important to an unknown?
or would you prefer to man up and act a clown?
swish, swash, swish..
i do not wish to be a fish..
to be finished and ever vanished from the remnants of the earth..
prithee tell, where can one find a b…

letters~ part 2

dear isth,

has it been awhile? not really.
what's doing lately? i know it's not much, but yeah, i missed you alot these days since you left.
well, i just wanted to say ..
life's become more interesting. one of the "have you wonders" came true.
the imagination and the reality wasn't very different.
i liked the fact that i still have some people around me i call friends.
then, i thought again, are friends all that important?
sometimes, sometimes not.
i tend to push others away sometimes. and i found another like you, one that'd care.
it's so different. i do have another "wonders" now, to meet more new people and not the same type of people.
for example, last friday night (like katy perry's), i didn't get drunk, no worries.. =) but i did meet new people.
Rongie's people. her aunts. her cousin brother. her cousin brother's friends.
yes, i met them all in one night.
fascinating. yes, i talk. and i learnt to talk. and i taught myself to talk…

first performance~

Rongie n fat lou~ fwanx gorgeous <3
yeah, that's how i felt after the performance..
umhmm.. you know it's like the first time, performing to an audience whom you have no clue, you don't know a single person in there..
wow, that feeling's like.. normal. hahaha..
no jitters..
i had this notion where no one'll be listening..
so i'll just be playing and enjoying being part of the environment there..
i played pretty much all the songs that i wrote down on my list..
mmm.. yes, without a bloody score.
no show off..
it's just that i don't have one and i don't have the time nor the patience to search for one.
and another, i hate reading notes.
for a first timer, people thought i was professional.
i had a few who asked how long i've been playing professionally..
awww.. the feeling was sooooo.. ahhh..
i. am. high up. waaaay high up the clouds.
and yes, my dream became REALLLL.. as in REAAAAALLLLL..
i finally played in front of an audien…