Showing posts from July, 2011


dear isth,

it was ever a surprise when i saw you standing there, head bowed, eyes concentrating on a certain smudge on your shoes while waiting for someone or something. as amazing as it was so, i was composed, careful not to look surprised. words were not exchanged, but somehow, there was a pull of energy around us that made you look up and you gave a crooked smile of greeting.
i had no words to say, except that the expression in your eyes were so mesmerizing that you held me up short. i wondered, if anyone had ever said that eyes could be the same as a mouth. the thoughts and words were pouring out of them but none were spoken out loud. it was time.
i'm glad that i showed up. for this will always be embedded in my memory, welcome home.


dear isth,

has it ever occurred to you that when the days were dull and you had nothing to do but to just sit and stare into space made you think too much? it was not a good thing to do. but thinking too much does have its drawbacks. for …

~kindle & whassup.

fat lou's new toy~ Kindle*

mmm...yes the long awaited 'toy' has arrived finally..
in which i managed to buy at half the price of what's being sold here.. pheww..
anyways.. i wasn't as obsessed with it at first as i am now.. *-*
i mean..i was so used to reading from me lappie that it was so difficult to adjust to a smaller screen on the palm..
ah well..didn't take me that long to get the hang of it..
you can't exactly go crazy over it completely..despite the fact that there's wireless..
it's still under experimental. which means, laggy. but i'm not complaining, since the whole point of it is to READ only..oh, the speakers are great. really great.
i'd like to have a library or list or a tab which has a list of the songs i've inserted though..
so that i can see and choose...instead of a next button only..there's no "previous" button..
and again, the operative word is "READ" in this case..
so..READ is all i've been doing p…

black vibes..

it's too much..
way way waaaaay too much..
the days are getting imensely out of order..
escapades are not visible anywhere..
instead..there were those deep dark illicit thoughts instead..
or probably dreams..
looking at new things in a new perspective..
simply... ... eye-opening for me..
no other way to describe..
but a deep curiosity...
mmmm.. dangerous thoughts indeed..
but not mind-bogling yet..
threading onto that threshold seems so unlikely..
back to reality..
i'm friggin' getting sick again and bloody live email's blocked..pfffft..
apologies for a new one. ._____.

-zingered-''wherever did that come from?''


i'd say this tho..
2 is seriously always a better choice than more than 2..
but then again..with the impossibles involved..
it's always impossible..
so..chances were pretty high at the beginning..
but when u're nearing the end..
it's kinda might as well forget it..
not the first time tho..
im not bitten.
im just wondering..why bother in the first place?
i dunno.
i place a lot of certainty in whatever choices i make.
can't be help if it can't be help..
hmm.. not the right sorts. time and well, complications.
so, i'll just wait for Nettie and Jan and prolly' Tine and Jan Jan..
with Mab too, in Augie, celebrate Mab's bafdi as
we'll see 'bout that..
totally brewing.

-shmuacks- X)

stop being nice.

is it so danng hard for once to just live a day normally throughout the year?
i hate mood swings.

she wakes up in the morning feeling like the sun's up when it can't be seen..
then the day starts to turn into a topsy-turvy day..
there's just no explanation.
if there's a hole that could swallow her nice and easy that would be..
but then again, this is a harsh world..
it all started with a lil' hunting for a location..
and ended with a near-"BANG"..
which made her snapped up..

i could say that i'm pretty messed up.
totally not in control today.
haven't got a clue what's bitten me ..
'cept that i was so out of it..
and now i'm friggin' scared of myself...
at times like this..i always wished i had someone to turn to..
but i didn't..
stopped and stared into space after the near-death experience..
and called Mei.. who was nearly finished with her job..
i didn't give a full explanation..but she didn't pressed to know what's really w…

it's all in a tow...

last night..'s definitely been a while since i drank..
and first time i stood Bear up..i just had to finished preparing the accompanist part first..
anyways..i waited for next door Tony Bear to come home and we headed for Berlinz Bier Houz..
where i bumped into Ruth, Yoshi and Gill.. mmm.. small world..
Tony's always sayin he's too old.. pfffft.. yeaah..same ol' same ol'..
and it's also been a while since i last went out with him.. best part is, he actually knows what's goin on in the house next door.. X))
we've been neighbours since i was born? but of course, he'd been around longer than me..
and the childhood that we had..definitely left an imprint.. my scar. ^^"
had a good night out and a good night sleep which caused me to wake up late..

it was definitely a long day..
bounced off the bed..and hopped on the car for car service..
had to do the booking today..which was unsucessful..
then ran off for a few stolen minutes at …

a date on a Sunday?

hahaha..never really crossed my mind till Elmo was harping on it..
seriously, a date? what a joke. ha-ha-ha.. yeah, at the end of the rainbow's got no leprechaun gold, eh? .___.
got up 'round 8 cuz of Jake..urghh..
went back to sleep and had a odd kiss dream from a random dude who's suppose to hate me?
yeah.. odd.
got up again at 11 plus.. with Jake showing ass at me..
honestly.. *shaking head*
yeah, well.. dawdled a lil'..
then headed on down for some Sarawakian Laksa brunch cooked by aunt M.
by the time i finished and had the usual ever-grinding talk from mam..
i had this sinking feeling.. the type that says. it's not suppose to be like this.
it's not meant to be like this. but it is.
bummer.. in less than 10 mins. the usual blank out phase strikes again.
went back to search for Gio's price and plans and offers..
didn't check the time till Tae rang..
the usual.. food. shopping mall. and a drive this time.
but dang, of all the days, Ade's gotta be …

swirl swirl swirl..

it's been a while.
and it's a huge massive blob of mess.
that's what i'm
the question that's popped up recently..
do i really wanna do this for the rest of my life..
i can't move. stuck in a rut. bummer.
oh yes, there's definitely a plan going on.
working on it..? more like, any progress..
.piano.theory.certs.diploma.language certs.ptship.people.

'sides that, Bear came back and i bumped into him one day with Von..
watched the same movie on the next day, same row and same time too..
wasn't even planned. but i think the Fates must have something to do with it.. ^^"
anyways, Tae's also back, but had been busy with house chores..but we'll be meeting up tomowo..*
Li too.. glad that her mam's recovering.
so, we had a get together last night.
Li called to meet up with Tiki and i asked to call Bear too..
since we'll have no idea WHEN we'll see her..
Starbucks it was.. we were all busy catching up that i didn't realise Tae called..