Showing posts from February, 2011

i know why i don't see you

i see you everyday but i do not recognise you when you're in front of me
i know why now..
it's not because of the looks.
it's because of what you really are like underneath it all..
it just struck me..
how different we are... not on the same channel.
ha, and i thought i knew it all.
guess i was right from the beginning.
the fact that it was just all a temporary interest..
as for the pros and cons..
urm..that's really not necessary after all..
it's so clear.


bummer Friday..

i think i've been waaaay waaaaay off topic for a looooooong time..
meaning that...
hello? music is my life??
it has always been..
only thing is that..
i didn't refer every post to a song..which i always do when i have a blog in hand-written form or a diary/journal..
what's the NOW-song?
hrruum. i think that'll have to be Kana Nishino's DISTANCE and Train's MARRY ME.
honestly, it's not always k-pop.
anyway..what happened today?
i got up early as usual.Bee replied my text and i called to confirm again that i'll be heading down to KL in a week's time.
i wonder though..should i stay for a week? hmmmmm..
and do what?.. Bee's got classes..hmm..better not.
had breakfast with Hashz before she left for Penang..
noon..did some errands for mama..
and had lunch with Tine and Mabe at DaORe..

ended the day with mahjong again..
surprises, surprises. so not.
it's only because Tae isn't around to take away the "MEDAL" from Tine.
that's why she …

a floating Wednesday..

had to wake up at 6 in the morning to work for an hour.
dayaam.. i didn't want to wake up at all..
duty calls.
and i had to get everything done on record time.
which i did, phew..
but i did so wanted to put off the hiking with Jiun and Melv.
didn't want to disappoint anyone. so...went on with it.
the scene was really beautiful and full of nature..
i enjoyed this time's hiking more than the first time.
probably because my stamina's sliiighttllyyy better.. haha..
didn't really feel much challenge..but it was quite fun.
especially sinkin your feet with shoes and all into the cold stream..
we played with water for a lil' while and headed back to change.
it was time to meet up with Tine and Ee Von..
Melv didn't join us.
so, we went on to do our own stuff and his on his own with his friends.
after lunch..went to sing K..
didn't really feel up to it...
towards the end, i had to go pick up my kid bro.
and pick up Melv from his mam's office, cuz he'll be …

in a dilemma again..

dilemma no. 1.
honestly, i don't know whether i'm lying to myself or trying to convince everyone and myself that i don't have any intentions towards Tae. ><

dilemma no. 2.
i really can't make up my mind whether or not to really go for the Musikgarten Cycle of Seasons workshop on 1st week of march.

solutions: ...??

alright, for no. 1..
i'm not sure. what's it really really like anymore, to like someone..
and when you know that you actually do like someone.
i mean, minus all the texting and calls.
that's what most would hardly call "like"?
i only talk when i wanna meet up or do something together or wanna ask about some stuff. not, hey, how's your day? or i'm bored or what you up to now, etc..
and yet, people are saying that, seriously, something is really wrong with you that you do not really SEE what's in front of you..and you're still saying something's lacking.
duh, remember once upon a time that i was too hasty and m…

black Tuesday...

i didn't even drink last night.
it was just a mahjong session with Tine and Kelv.
and yet, when i got up this morning, i felt hungover..
really groggy and tired with a minor headache..
rushed to the wash to start the washing machine..
thought i could have half an hour of nap before watering the plants..
ended up running over today's schedule in my head for 20 minutes..
by the time i've completed my chores.. it was time to send my kid bro to school..
and i was dead beat.
reached Jiun's and let her took over the driving to Tine's..
at least she was awake this time..
breakfast and mahjong...
took off to work at the kindy behind Jiun's street..
was reckless and not exactly reckless.. i didn't want to jump the traffic light...
no accident..but i felt that it was way way too sudden to slam the brakes..>.<
felt real guilty...
at the kindy..
it was even worse...those 5 year olds were real lil' devils today..
dayaamm.. had a hard time controlling.. yelled till my throa…


wanna go kick something. seriously. real bad.
effing mad.


odd day.
was with Hashz and Dila in the morning.
decided to take up another job, but it's with ms. E..=)
had lunch with Hashz after confirming with ms. E..
was spontaneous as usual.
decided to do some climbing after finding out Jiun's idea from Melv.
and so we went, after one round of gambling at mahjong which Jiun 'butchered' us..
i gots no stamina at all. bloody legs died on me again. my knees.
it's worse than before.. gawd.. i think i'm not gonna be able to walk well when i'm old..
it never went away since i joined the school team..TT_____________TT
epic failure..>.< at least Jiun's got more juice than i do..
and as expected, Melv too. probably the safest. haha.
i wasn't so beat after the climbing.
so..managed to finish my first job for the day smoothly.
then rushed home to help mam to prepare dinner.
awesome dinner.
mam tried her hand at making onion soup for the first time.
simply..absolutely spiffing.. =D.. yeah..DELICIOUS..
but it's …


it's valentine's pips..hapi to all.. ;)
hey, it's V-day..
started out as one helluva day..
was in a real pissy mood when running errands.
then decided to ask melv to join in for the lunch with Jiun and Ee Von since he's got nothing better to do than sleep and watch 'em variety shows.
Hashz decided to join in..
lunch was at folie-folie.
ok. food? so-so. drinks? kill me. i've never had an iced peach tea made from powder form and looked teh tarik and costs rm6.20. gawwwwd.
went to jusco after that.
found out that Jiun bought the bag that i wanted. and after a 3rd look at it. nah. not worth the price. gave up on it.
sent Hashz home and continued on to Melv's for mahjong which i didn't really wanted to.
but i obliged them.
was in a real nocturnal mood. during the drive to Melv's house.
gahhh...someone spare me from all this...i mean..just because i'm silent doesn't mean i'm sick or tired. it could mean that LEAVE ME ALONE and DON'T INCLUDE ME. …

기다리다 by Panic

널 기다리다 혼자 생각했어
떠나간 넌 지금 너무 아파
다시 내게로 돌아올 길 위에 울고 있다고

널 바라보다 문득 생각했어
어느날 하늘이 밝아지면
마치 떠났던 날처럼 가만히 너는 내게 오겠지
내 앞에 있는 너

네가 다시 나를 볼 순 없을까
너의 두 눈 속에 나는 없고
익숙해진 손짓과 앙금같은 미소만
희미하게 남아서 나를 울게 하지만

너는 다시 내게 돌아올거야
너의 맘이 다시 날 부르면
주저말고 돌아와 네 눈앞의 내안으로
여전처럼 널 안아줄테니

this song is what i'm feeling now.
not the end but just another phase in life.. =)

-one of the joys in life-

not stable..

wonder what's happened lately..
i think what i've done..
it's kinda too much..
but i don't get it.
why do others think that it's fine.
not too much at all.
somehow.. it's just another distraction. which i shouldn't have wasted time on..
not exactly worth it.
what the hell was i thinking ..-.-
chasing after a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow..
should never have started and should have ended long ago.
it seems so perfect once it must be just an admiration..
nothing more.. nothing less..
i'm amazed by my self-control.
at the same time.. tired of the toll it has on me..
well..all i can say is.. it's not time yet.
nope, it's not..
i've still got a long way to go..
dare i still hope.....
if there's the silver lining in the clouds that exists......?