dreaming as time passes by

gambled with everything i had and they're all slowly fading away
makes me wonder whether anything and everything that was open at first was ever real
took every chance i had and turned it all into something i thought would work
guess things were never as easy as they looked
i'd hoped that i was wrong
since i've always been a pessimist half my life
it's no wonder that when anything unfortunate happens i'm immune..
or so i thought that i was..

the tree sways in tune to the wind's song
as i walked on
i missed the days with him
when the sun used to beam
down at us
the heat of it
reminding me that none will last
when it sets and i lay down on the grass
alone it is as usual
i wished for him again
but remembered that i have never dreamt of our future thinking it lame
he told me to forget everything
i never thought him callous once and i blinked
we lost what we had
and i never looked back
until now--
xxLhxx

-forgotten-

an experience that is a first and the last time i shall never forget

it was a deadline.
time was supposed to run as you will it.
but it was not my friend that day.
and things went wrong.
but i was not alone.
he told me to not give up.
"you have to continue.
i will not sleep till it is finished."
i was skeptic.
but my faith told me to believe him.
so i did.
he did not fail me.
we finished together.
and in the end, words of those that were in the past were swept away.
i believed in results.
and he delivered them.
no matter how tight the schedule was, no matter how much more he still has to complete..
he still asked me whether i needed any help.
amazing brain...i wasn't wrong in calling him a genius X))
that is what i believe true teamwork is.
i felt that there isn't anyone yet that has his strong faith.
which makes me ponder now.
how many times has he done this before?
.....probably countless X))
awake we stayed for 30 hours..
2% of plagarism is enough to convince me of our language skills.
i will not doubt him in future.
i can say that i do not regret meeting and asking him to be a team.
placing blind trust on each other, i absolutely salute him.
but this is one experience that neither of us will ever want to repeat again.
i can say that i am now officially brain fried from that episode.
and i am happy to say that i'm home again. :)

-morose and uplifted-

music, peers and studies~

jumble tumble grumble
which one is it?
all of the above..
a jumble of everyone and everything
tumbled into a sea of jelly beans
that made me grumble everyday
but i found my muse even in this mess
took me a short period of time to adapt
and that made the perfect beauty of all time
--- the music
i found him, he found me..
was it a coincidence?
no, it was fate.
it's been a while to start seeing real people around me..
i've been a drifter for so long..
it's been an interesting ride down the peers lane..
fast friends, mutual friends and even.....
i like, i love and i loathe at the same time..
i tried to concentrate so hard that i ended up dozing off in the end and got caught like the deer in headlights..
tell me, how did u manage it?
oblivious to all except the thoughts in my head..
gotta get through it, gotta get pass it, gotta get it..
the mantra going on and on till i passed out..
woke up to the sea of eyes boring into me as though i'm a lab rat..
decided to take a hike and give 'em hell..
it sure felt good.. X))
i think, i feel and i fought
and then....it disappeared, just like that..
i found me again. :)
in the event of a crisis..smiled like a maniac and talked like loony..
i was a fake all over again.
hey, it's not my fault that the switch turned on and off too fast again..
so, all in all.. it has been a truly fun and exhilarating month for me..
met way too many new people in brief, reconciled old friendships again, found new music combos and learnt new stuff from text books and lecturers' experiences alike..
i'm not going to say i love my life now, but it's another phase of my life that i shall grow fond of soon.. hopefully.. ;)

-룰룰룰-

can't see through these cloudy days

it's been a month
and i'm back at one
how'd that happen
when nothing's suppose to bend
everything still feels new
but everyday's a Monday blue
the question and the doubt
always present and loud
i'm wishing on a falling star
and then i can laugh and forget everything and everyone around
i'll probably go out on a limb and fall down
...back to the mess
of everything and nothing and then the stress..
begins again...like a cycle..


`barely able to breathe and cope through all the expectations and anticipation...`
taking up counselling might not be a bad idea after all..that means, i'll do the counselling and not the other way round..
the often asked question... i make 'em as often as i lose 'em, why? : it's because u're still in that circle that never goes out of place..and u're content to live in it..i can't help u when i'm always the scapegoat for u and giving u meaningful and useful advices which u toss 'em off immediately as u asked for them..


i watch it all from above and afar.. see that girl? she's always there.. but we've never talked..in the end, she took away what was never mine.. what was it? ...no, not a person, not a thing.. but a miracle...


Tessa once told me that it was never too late to fly away from the jungle of mess that always binds me...
but loyalty and tolerance will be the death of me.. was it real? no, it was all a facade..


it's too much.. can't see.. just can't see through it all.. taking and leaving it all behind.........


-blind-

one sweet day~

missed calls in the a.m. turned to a hoppin' Saturday for mellow Saturdays~
spending hours in One U browsing, strolling, dawdling, eating, catching up and revising is quite relaxing.. :)

there are worries but today, they're at bay... ^^

-cheers-

## Rihanna's Cheers (Drink To That)

Cheers to the freaking weekend
I drink to that, yeah yeah
Oh let the Jameson sink in
I drink to that, yeah yeah
Don’t let the bastards get you down
Turn it around with another round
There’s a party at the bar everybody put your glasses up and
I drink to that, I drink to that

##

another start~

JC~~ Fad~

strolling and dashing pass time here in this foreign lil' cosy town

from hectic to lagging

taking deep gulps of breath every day

hoping for a better way

to reach out

to take in

to see things in a new light

to accept the way things are in this flight

so far

so good

:)

~one of the best delights in this town~ fooooooooooooooooooood <3

------- ok, back to norm?

hahahahaa.. it's like this..

apart from the excitement on the first week, there was no jitters or anything..

the need to know what to do is a constant worry..

not get lost, not doing anything odd that'll get others to give you the look etc. etc.

and getting hit on the 2nd day of orientation by a hawwt dude,

it was all very fine X))

the first week of lecture? ...kill me now, the amount of work and pressure unloaded just like that..

assignments were mentioned, 2nd week was the time to form groups.. blend in, blend in...

funnily enough.. i was never worried about whether i'd be able to form one myself even though i barged in as a newbie just like that..

nevertheless, the experience was rather refreshing ^^

the part where i have lunch at the cafeteria or opposite the campus alone for nearly everyday is normal for the first week or so, pretty much the same like in Sunway Ipoh..

i did meet a number of people whom i felt was just those people you'll see on occasion but not chummy enough to have meals with or getting to know better..yet?

met too many people actually.. but still stuck to JC and Fad more than any others..

it's the 3rd week now.. and i've already managed to join 2 clubs.. the marketing club and performing arts club..

the latter was a last minute choice as i've been trying to juggle all assignments this week and getting a hand on where i stand.. i'm just glad i managed to get things done and delegated tasks that i could join.. (:

and in the performing arts club meeting today, i met a few talented singers and musicians..

did our own lil' gig up on the rooftop at the courtyard to ditch the lame-o game that's trying to get pips to open up...what awesome pips they are.. X))

i've also finally met up and caught up with Jack :)

it's great to see old faces.. new faces are welcoming.. Jess and Fad are the ones that attract instant connection..

i've hung out with Jean and Mei during breaks and all.. not because we're group mates but it's another way to get to know each other too..

all in all..this has been the fastest phase of my life that i met soooooo many pips in 3 weeks.

overwhelming yet exciting.. *-*

however........i haven't exactly been roaming around town..i've only met up with these pips in campus.

not out of it... believe it or not..i haven't really the interest or time to roam around..

i'm always either too lazy or too tired to just budge.. including the time to revise and read and catch up....

getting up at the crack of dawn every morning.....taking nearly an hour to get there is not my preference at all..

good training again though..

.....still trying to adapt to the life and times here.. simply mind-boggling @.@

-dead beaaaaaaaaaat-

if i were the ___?

ahhh..

games and fames alike

walking through stalls then hike

hopping and skipping to the top

then running pell-mell from a frog

gawking mindlessly at a dude

washing clothes in the nude

...........

drip drop drip drop.

uh, yes.

today's all about who's the best at chucking lame sentences.

listening to hitz's version of If I Were The Boss.

-grinning from ear to ear-

home bound..

home again from the hectic KL city.. nothing beats my bed.. X))

i have to say though, Thomas has impeccable timing..

the minute i reached, it's lunch hour..

hence, the meal is with Thomas and Mabel after settling down and dropping Von off.

the past few days have been interesting.

wouldn't say it's been a living hell of an experience, but i have to agree that laziness and procrastinating does not become one when u're over there.

cooking, cleaning, washing, etc..

it's a beginning.

including remembering all the routes and friggin' lousy drivers on the road.

i'm glad i never got lost. ;)

but being swore and cursed on isn't a new experience either.

what's the thing i wished i had done most when i was there?

a job in my pocket.

i suppose being holed up and being a wimp doesn't help.

so it's all on me.

.__.

time's ticking real fast.

hunks and hotties alike daily in the elevator is a sight to see.

new friends and new places are fascinating.

mayn't be able let go some oldies still but trying hard to fill in newbies.

Ti came up for Von's convocation and it was quite grand.

and am sooooo envious of the affection displayed by Ian for Von..

sighhhh..~

met Ti's sister and partner for supper..

can't say the partner's taciturn, though that was the impression i gained at first.

nevertheless, it was quite an enjoyable despite everyone being exhausted and stuffed by the end of the day...

the drive back today with Von has been refreshing.

the feeling of first time on the road home from PJ without maman is liberating.

tomorrow's my convocation.

i don't feel excited knowing what i'll know... .__.

there's work in the a.m. too..

i'm thinking.

still thinking.

haven't stopped thinking.

that it's time to not think anymore.

but seeing things got me thinking.

i think, i think...

i can't think anymore.

-i don't hate you, but i can't stand the sight of you anymore-

`that is deep`